i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to be your penis for a week.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize