Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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