woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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