i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Randomize
