So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
