Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
