One girl and one boy is just not enough.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
