Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
