blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
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