do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
17 year olds will be the death of me.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
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