yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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