if i can run in heels then i can drive
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
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