problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Randomize
