Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize