Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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