what day is it and did you see me today?
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
I’m really upset they canceled the conference. Since the divorce I’ve been working out, I bought cute new outfits and even found a bikini I liked. Now it’s all online. You can’t get laid at a webinar
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