Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
