You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
