I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
