You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
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