Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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