I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Randomize