Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
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