ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
