dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
