so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
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