Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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