my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
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