i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
