Heybabeimwearingurpanties
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Randomize