SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
