dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
