I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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