my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
