I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
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woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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