He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize
