so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize