moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
