How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize