hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
