Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
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