One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize