You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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