She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
accomplished twins. life is a go
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
She tied me up with her honor cords...
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
