Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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