Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
