We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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