not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I asked him why the bed was wet and got.."well there are two options... and its not you."
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
