this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
She bit a glass in half.
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Randomize
