in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
I pour the whiskey from now on
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Randomize
