Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize