Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
Randomize
