Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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