I looked at my own cervix.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
